Foggistani Soldiers. Left to Right: Light Trooper, Scout w/ Laser Rifle, Heavy Trooper
Kingston, Interstellar News Net - The people of LusciousLocks continue in a hypnotized daze. After several fruitless attempts to bring the Luscious people out from their trance, the International Community of Peaceful Peoples (ICPP) has decided to feed the Luscious Lockians intravenously.
"It is the lesser of two evils," said Cash D. Banks, head of ICPP and Prime Minister of the Elevated Empire of Econometric Elation (EE of EE). "Sure, some of the Luscious Lockians might, after the fact, be angry at our having force fed them (if they're nutty Jehova's witnesses, or something). But we believe most would agree that it is a necessary measure. And seeing how the president of Luscious Locks is nowhere to be found, and how his nation is in no condition to take care of itself, it is our moral responsibility to protect and nourish them in this time of need."
It is still unclear who will incur the costs of intravenous fluids (though the overly wealthy EE of EE is a likely candidate). Most nations have begun (mostly symbolic) relief efforts in order to jointly fund the endeavor.
Nonetheless, not all Coralendian nations are keen on the idea of sending troops back into Luscious Locks. The skies of the nation have once again darkened ominously, making satellite imaging absolutely impossible, and radio communication has been mysteriously lost with those few Foggistani troops who were stationed in the Luscious Locks capital of Green City. Meanwhile, the dark band across the Coralendian red moon of Styx is growing ever darker, puzzling astronomers and throwing astrologists into a superstitious frenzy. Some religious groups believe the people of Luscious Locks have been chosen by God to be removed from Coralende and elevated into the Heavens; others think Luscious Locks is being punished for being overly environmentally friendly. Either way, many are of the opinion that Luscious Locks is in some way doomed, and that it is not a good idea to remain too long within its boundaries.
"We are sending an expedition to investigate the recent occurrences on the moon of Styx," said the Foggistani Admiral and Star Fleet Commander in Chief Solomon T. Jagesic. "We will also be sending none other than the two leading officers of our Helo-Fleet into Luscious Lockian territory in order to reestablish communication channels and prep the country's citizens for intravenous feeding."
All eyes are on Foggistan, as the leading public opinion is that, based on either its success or failure, other nations will follow suit in cooperative efforts, or abandon Luscious Locks entirely and leave it to its own resources. "With the approval and support of ICPP, Foggistan will lead the way and set the example for all admirable, self-respecting nations to follow," said Jagesic.
Foggistani space troops are expected to reach Styx by the end of the week. The Foggistani incursion into Luscious Locks is slated for tonight.
"It is the lesser of two evils," said Cash D. Banks, head of ICPP and Prime Minister of the Elevated Empire of Econometric Elation (EE of EE). "Sure, some of the Luscious Lockians might, after the fact, be angry at our having force fed them (if they're nutty Jehova's witnesses, or something). But we believe most would agree that it is a necessary measure. And seeing how the president of Luscious Locks is nowhere to be found, and how his nation is in no condition to take care of itself, it is our moral responsibility to protect and nourish them in this time of need."
It is still unclear who will incur the costs of intravenous fluids (though the overly wealthy EE of EE is a likely candidate). Most nations have begun (mostly symbolic) relief efforts in order to jointly fund the endeavor.
Nonetheless, not all Coralendian nations are keen on the idea of sending troops back into Luscious Locks. The skies of the nation have once again darkened ominously, making satellite imaging absolutely impossible, and radio communication has been mysteriously lost with those few Foggistani troops who were stationed in the Luscious Locks capital of Green City. Meanwhile, the dark band across the Coralendian red moon of Styx is growing ever darker, puzzling astronomers and throwing astrologists into a superstitious frenzy. Some religious groups believe the people of Luscious Locks have been chosen by God to be removed from Coralende and elevated into the Heavens; others think Luscious Locks is being punished for being overly environmentally friendly. Either way, many are of the opinion that Luscious Locks is in some way doomed, and that it is not a good idea to remain too long within its boundaries.
"We are sending an expedition to investigate the recent occurrences on the moon of Styx," said the Foggistani Admiral and Star Fleet Commander in Chief Solomon T. Jagesic. "We will also be sending none other than the two leading officers of our Helo-Fleet into Luscious Lockian territory in order to reestablish communication channels and prep the country's citizens for intravenous feeding."
All eyes are on Foggistan, as the leading public opinion is that, based on either its success or failure, other nations will follow suit in cooperative efforts, or abandon Luscious Locks entirely and leave it to its own resources. "With the approval and support of ICPP, Foggistan will lead the way and set the example for all admirable, self-respecting nations to follow," said Jagesic.
Foggistani space troops are expected to reach Styx by the end of the week. The Foggistani incursion into Luscious Locks is slated for tonight.
omg. luscious locks is so screwed.
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