The Man with the Plan

We were with winfry winster when we went, well, onto a more interesting history of the Intergalactic Commonwealth of Foggistan because who would be worried about the mysterious Foggistani fleet if it had been a her-story? Unless of course it was a story by Lithuanian Starr – that strumpet is so scary that she will probably jump out of the Realm of Blog and eat my appendix. … Yep, she just did and it wasn’t very fun. Fortunately I had my decoy appendix, but I really don’t like my Ochem book with the back pages ripped out - it just looks tacky.

Anyhowsers, we were with winfry winster preparing and you are probably like, “Preparing?! What is this? - the boy scouts? How interesting can preparing be? And how could one dude be preparing for a whole nation of slugs when the apocalypse is about to be thrown down?”

But before you go judging, let me tell you a bit about our mr. winster. As you can already tell, mr. winster is not your average nilbmahian, and no he’s not your median nilbmahian either. mr. winster never fit in, which is surprising because he was always rather small and flexible. But for some reason he just could never follow the nilbmahian ways. All his teachers tried to make him go to the playground but he would simply refuse to stop reading his book, or doing his math problems or writing his essay or what ever it was he was doing. His parents sent him to a psychiatrist but even she, with all her Freudian slips (yes, she has slips with Freud’s face on them – and yes they are very sexy if I do say so myself [What?! Professor Stielstra told me to know everything about my characters and that includes undergarments. Don’t judge me!]) … Anyways, even she couldn’t get him to jump into nilbmahian culture. And eventually his parents gave up trying to change him and he went to university on scholarship to Earlenguard University in the Foggistani colony on Coralende's partly-habitable first moon of Attica to study political science and literature. At first our winster was thrilled to leave the place where he was such an outlier; he was finally through with those lazybodynogoodfornothing nilbmahians. And that’s when a strange thing happened; he found himself defending his countrypeople to his Foggistani peers and believe me the only jokes the Foggistani’s have are lazy nilbmahian jokes and believe me even more, those jokes get old really fast – they turn 102 in like 2 seconds. So in spite of his twenty standard deviations away from the nilbmahian norm, winster realized that he had an immense pride for his nation. So it seemed that the all the contradictions of Foggistan had seeped into him like rain that seeps into your boots and makes them go “squilish squilish” when you walk. I hate that.

And it was only after winster had been a walking contradiction for 3 years that the light bulb went on (yes before that he had to use a candle in his dorm room – No dummy, it’s called figurative language). In that moment, he realized that he was going to turn niblmah into the greatest nation to ever nation Coralende. Yes this big goal was ambitious, yet feasible and he decided to devote his life to this task. And he knew that in order to become great, a nation needed two things more than anything else: legend and literature. A golden lie if you will and if you won’t well how about you make your own post and quit complaining about mine. So he returned to niblmah, much to everyone’s surprise and for the past 7 years winfry winster had been writing and it was fail!