Mystical amulets and dark magical secrets. Warring interstellar empires and ancient political rivalries. Lovers torn apart and characters so awkward you can practically feel their social anxiety. All of this, mixed in with a good dose of humor - and a little barely-veiled adolescent sexual imagery, too. Welcome to the Chronicles of Coralende!
The Chronicles open with a helicopter incursion into the storm-shrouded nation of Luscious Locks, led by the valiant Foggistani soldiers (and sometime lovers) Lithuania Starr and Marco Northern, and a survey of the life of winfry winster, a would-be writer of inspiring tales for the nation of nilbmah (lower-case intentional). But how did we get here, you may ask? The answer begins nearly a thousand years in the past, on mysterious planet Breckinridge, and is caught up in an ancient feud that just might have continued all the way up to the present day.
The Flight from Planet Breckinridge
Ancient history, as far as we're concerned
It's been a thousand years since the apocalyptic war between the Commonwealth of Foggistan and the Jingoistic States of AssMachenstan forced humanity to flee its home planet of Breckinridge. The spaceships of the survivors scattered throughout the stars, and the groups who made it to habitable planets developed in relative isolation from one another, each struggling in their own way to rebuild civilization. It was hundreds of years before they ventured back out into the limitless void. And eventually, with time, the far-flung branches of humanity began to rediscover one another.
Planet Coralende
The center of the new human civilization
Of all the planets settled by the human refugees, the most important is Coralende. The first settlers there found an exceptionally warm and lush world, ready to be colonized; in the millennium since their arrival, the Coralendians have built a complex and developed society. As the most populated of the human planets, Coralende is the center of the recent growth in interstellar trade and commerce. Around a dozen nation-states, each with a distinctive culture, cover the surface of Coralende and govern its people.
The Interstellar Commonwealth of Foggistan
Workers for the common good - or Machiavellian power-snatchers?
Foggistan, once a major power on planet Breckinridge, has reemerged as a confederacy of worlds many light years away from Coralende. Though they were forced to settle on worlds far inferior to Coralende, they retained their advanced technology and--more importantly--their political bonds to each other, which has made them the greatest power among the known human colonies.
Foggistan has spearheaded the recent increase in commerce and communication between the dispersed human colonies. They are respected for their political leadership and their transfer of technology to other worlds, but not always trusted - they have been willing to use guile to achieve their political ends, and though their actions seem to benefit the common good, they strengthen Foggistan's political hand even more.
The Jingoistic States of AssMachenstan
Diabolical, domineering, and long dead - or so we hope?
The other major power on planet Breckinridge before the Flight, AssMachenstan was a vast, arid, and hostile country. It was governed by an philosophy of "might makes right" and was known for its penchant for brutal experimentation, both scientific and magical, to create tools for military and political domination. Foggistan blames such experimentation for the catastrophe that forced humans to abandon Breckinridge, though the truth is unclear.
Conventional wisdom holds that Foggistan prevented the AssMachenstani elite from fleeing Breckinridge, and that AssMachenstan perished as a nation when Breckinridge was rendered uninhabitable. Conspiracy theorists note, however, that several unknown ships escaped Breckinridge in the chaos of the evacuation - could AssMachenstan still be out there, somewhere in the darkness of the void, plotting what schemes only they may know? And does the Foggistani leadership know more than it's letting on?
The Crisis
The current mess we're in
A month ago, a very large Foggistani fleet showed up in orbit around Coralende, completely unannounced, after a 40-year voyage to arrive there. They claimed to be scientific ships, resupplying for an expedition to investigate anomalies in a nearby star, though no one understood why so many ships would be needed for such an expedition.
Not long after the arrival of the ships, however, very strange things began happening. A mysterious dark band began stretching over the surface of Coralende's red moon of Styx, and the people of the capital of Luscious Locks - a major Coralendian nation - fell into a catatonic state, doing nothing but staring up at the moon. The Foggistani fleet subsequently landed a large military force - a part of its cargo it had neglected to mention - to the capital, ostensibly to bring the situation under control and provide food and water for the catatonics, though the deployment was far larger than necessary for this purpose. After the soldiers arrived, dark clouds formed over the entire nation of Luscious Locks, cutting off all communication with the outside.
Foggistan denies that it has anything to do with the supernatural events, and has promised a full explanation for its suspicious actions. The governments of Coralende are increasingly on edge, however - have the Foggistanis chosen this moment to finally seize control of Coralende, the jewel of the human disapora? These governments have begun mobilizing their militaries, and are demanding an immediate withdrawal of Foggistani troops from Coralendian soil.
While the Powers That Be play their games with (wo)men's lives, however, a mild-mannered actuary by the name of winfry winster, himself a native of the small and not-unremarkable but altogether-safely-ignorable social-ist nation of nilbmah, a proud people who spurn all use of capitalization. He is struggling with his life's obsession--composing a legendary national poem for his country--but is on the verge of discovering a most peculiar secret, and perhaps even taking the fall with the mysterious young librarianess who will change his life, and the lives of all the people of Coralende, forever. Assuming he can actually get up the courage to even so much as ask her where to find the bathroom, that is.
While the Powers That Be play their games with (wo)men's lives, however, a mild-mannered actuary by the name of winfry winster, himself a native of the small and not-unremarkable but altogether-safely-ignorable social-ist nation of nilbmah, a proud people who spurn all use of capitalization. He is struggling with his life's obsession--composing a legendary national poem for his country--but is on the verge of discovering a most peculiar secret, and perhaps even taking the fall with the mysterious young librarianess who will change his life, and the lives of all the people of Coralende, forever. Assuming he can actually get up the courage to even so much as ask her where to find the bathroom, that is.
What is Foggistan up to? What dark clouds are gathering on the horizon? Are the fiendish scions of AssMachenstan to blame for any of this?* How will the peoples of Coralende respond? And why the hell does winfry keep coming to the library at ten o'clock sharp every saturday morning when he knows damn well the staff never actually unlock the doors until noon?
*(p.s.: yes)
